Isolation and competition
Doing a PhD can be rather isolating. If you are a loner who thrives on alone time, this will not bother you (me). But if you require human contact and interaction, then finding a cohort to do this journey with is a really good thing to do.
Remember, one of the key aspects of a successful PhD programme is integration into the departmental / faculty programme. This is not about skills you are learning, it is about the opportunity to form a community to combat isolation.
It is my experience that many PhD students complain about their cohort. Especially in the hard sciences where bragging rights about how many hours were spent in the lab, and who pulled an all nighter seem to be de rigueur and even supported by the supervisor as some kind of right of passage. This is nonsense and psychologically harmful. In the humanities, this is less pronounced because there is no lab, but it can still occur in lesser forms amongst the PhD cohort. Sometimes out and out school yard ‘he said, she said’ goes down. PhD supervisors are simply not interested in this sort of stuff, and on the whole will be rather unsympathetic unless something discriminatory or illegal has occurred (in which case report immediately either to your supervisor or to the director of the PhD programme).
Cohort management is thus yet another skill you need to master as a PhD student. First of all, you can’t like or be liked by all the people. Some people are awful. It is not you, it is them. Stay away from them. If you find yourself being bullied, stalked or harassed, document everything, and report it to your supervisor, and (if they are not interested), upwards to your Director of Postgrad studies. You do need to amass the evidence. If however these are people you can simply cut out of your life, do it immediately. Block them on all channels. Do check out the amazing podcast by Shayla Williams ‘Toxic People Detox’ who has a lots of advice about how to deal with these situations.
Find your tribe, and stick together to combat loneliness which can be a real thing on PhD. It is a long time to be on a single project with just your supervisor for company. So please find your people, either through social writing or departmental / and or University activities or training, or conferences, online communities or the many other opportunities for interaction with others on the PhD journey. If your department organises regular meet ups for PhDs, go to them. Find a kindred soul so you can have someone who truly empathises with the PhD journey.
Today I will…
Review whether I interact enough with other PhDs: do I feel part of a community?;
What steps can I take to ensure I find my people?;
What opportunities does my department/ faculty offer for community building?